Blasting Trout Overbite. Those three words fit together insidiously well, like a tantalizing first line of a beautiful poem. I'm sure it seems obvious that the three words we chose to christen our band (alright, collective) were carefully considered, mulled over, revised, honed and polished until they shone like iridescent golden fish.
Nope. You're wrong. Blasting Trout Overbite was not the product of intense thought. In fact, it was the product of three independent thinkers. "But surely," you protest, "you didn't just string together some random words, randomly! Why, you'd run the risk of creating something ugly, cumbersome, and repulsive. Something like 'Bachman Turner Overdrive'."
Well I've got news for you -- we did, at first, create something ugly. Something terrible. A definite albatross around our necks, truly, if we hadn't been able to dispose of it quickly and quietly. The original name of our band, you ask?
Different Omnipotent Embargo.
Now, that whole thing reeks of youthful over eagerness. We were young, and we were new friends. We just had to impress each other, and we accordingly chose the most impressive words we could muster.
Different -- that was mine. D-iffer-ent. Iffer. Iffy. Bookended by two strong consonants, but with an embarrassingly weak middle, the word leaves the mouth feeling awkward and clumsy. Though I like some of the implications (different from what?) it was simply a weak stab at shucking the norm and coming up with a word that was, well, different. Not a boringly traditional choice, but not a strong alternative either.
I don't know for sure, but I'm going to guess "omnipotent" was Matt's (Arthur has always had an ineffable affinity for the word "embargo"). Really, though, any one of us could have come up with omnipotent. It's fancy, but it tries too hard. I mean, for one, it starts with an O. That's a cry for attention. And then there's the sweetly satisfying way its stress always seems to fall on the wrong syllable. OmNIPotent. Phonetically speaking, the word is like candy -- tastes great every once in a while, but has no nutritional value. Like a pop song with a great hook but trite lyrics. And really, too many syllables to want to burden our poor band with. The band was strong, but not foolhardy.
Now, embargo really is a good, solid noun. Embargo, like a barge. But hardier than a barge! Embargo, like a big hairy beast roaming the land, grunting and trampling trees. Hard to believe it's one of those nouns that stands for a concept, not a concrete object or animal. Like "O grab me," but backwards.
Alright, so Arthur won that round. Embargo is pretty good. But still.
The rest of the story is history. We were Different Omnipotent Embargo (DOE to you fans) for like three days. Tensions were mounting until the evening of the third day and we found ourselves at each others' throats.
Perhaps it was some subconscious knowledge of the significance of that moment, faint glimmers of the future repercussions of what we were about to do, or maybe it was simply the urgency that gripped the tenuous hold we had on our young friendships, but we all saw with a certain undeniable clarity that night.
We chose our words. We chose boldly and without hesitation. The order was never predetermined and I randomly got the first spot again. Blasting! Almost a gerund in this context, but most likely a rare and beautiful adjective (or, I suppose, exclamation) from the grammar equivalent of Galapagos island, "blasting" sounds like a herald's trumpet proclaiming good news.
The noble trout is a perfectly constructed animal, and the same can be said of its name. Trout is sleek, aerodynamic and strong. One syllable is all it needs to make its point. My memory is hazy but I seem to think it was a young Matt who conjured this beauty.
Overbite. A humorous, yet strangely poignant, medical condition and a good meaty noun to boot. Good use of O as a first letter -- are you paying attention, omnipotent? (of course you are). In this context it turns "trout" into an adjective. The kind of overbite. The overbite was of the trout variety, and was blasting.
-or-
We're all here, us three, blasting the trout's overbite.
-or-
Well, you get the idea. The only way it really works is this:
Blasting Trout Overbite is a great band.
--Dan 9/15/05
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